Have you ever wondered why God created marriage? Have you ever wondered what his plan for marriage should look like? How does a couple achieve that plan? If we were able to achieve it, would that mean we had the perfect marriage?
Early in life, I often wondered what it would take to have a perfect relationship. I was not as concerned with why marriage even existed. I remember watching my parents and their interactions. I remember their affectionate touches. I remember my mom grabbing my dad’s hand at random times just to hold it. I also remember some of their arguments and their patterns when they would get upset. Obviously, no human relationship is perfect or ever will be, but I remember feeling fearful at times when my mom and dad would have conflict. I also remember watching them somehow makeup and resume affectionate interactions that overtime helped me realize their commitment to each other was strong. Their relationship was a gift to me. God showed me, through them, one possible way to be married. But I still longed for understanding. However, I still did not ask why God created marriage.
I have heard of others who did not have the model I had. I have heard of much worse stories and absences of a model at all. Some have never seen a healthy relationship. Some have seen partially healthy relationships. All, though, desire to be in a healthy relationship. I still wonder, “Why do we desire to be in healthy relationships and not care where the concept of relationship came from?” This question is what I am staring to focus on. Maybe we are asking the wrong question. Instead of asking, “What is a healthy relationship look like and how can we attain it?”, which is not a bad question to ask, maybe we should first ask, “Why does marriage exist in the first place?” “What is its origin and what is it for?”
Did you know answers to those questions exist? We may not find a perfect or full answer, but I propose that if we learn the answers to God’s reasons for and plan for His creation of marriage, we will know better how to have a healthy relationship. If we find the answer to the reasons to why marriage is important, then all of us could have the opportunity to be in a healthy relationship. All of us could access the instruction manual. Did you know that?
We all CAN have a healthy relationship because it is spelled out for us, IN THE BIBLE. And, I believe by knowing the intentions God had for marriage, we will understand better how to have a great marriage.
How can I say that? Why would I say that? I can say that because marriage was created by God himself, He told us in his Word what marriage was intended for, and He provided the instructions, the how to, to have a healthy relationship. Who better to learn from than the creator Himself! It makes me wonder why we have so many books to tell us how to have a great marriage, when it’s all there in the Bible. I KNOW! I KNOW! Sometimes the Bible can be confusing and hard to understand, right? I think in some cases we may not understand the meaning behind what is said, but can we go look up definitions and meanings? Sure we can! What about using different translations of the Bible to inform your understanding? What about the tools we have today, tools to help us know what the Bible is saying? I encourage you to not let your struggle with reading the Bible keep you from having a GREAT marriage.
So, come on a journey with me to understand why God created marriage. Start here. I know this is not the Bible, but I am strongly recommending you do not take my word for anything that is said in this article, or this series of articles. I STRONGLY recommend you go read it for yourself in the verses that I present to you or other places in the Bible. PLEASE, do not just take my word for it! Do your own study. Yet, let what I say urge you on and motivate you to learn more and do your own research.
I want you to know how to have a healthy marriage, but not necessarily a perfect one. I want you to learn what it looks like. I believe that starts by first knowing God’s purpose for marriage. And, I believe there are at least 9 reasons for God’s creation of marriage.
- Marriage illustrates the completion of the image of God
- Marriage illustrates the harmony of the Trinity (God, Husband, Wife)
- In God’s plan for marriage, the husband is the chosen leader
- In God’s plan for marriage, the wife was intended to be a helper (encourager)
- God intended marriage to be a metaphor for Unity and Harmony through perfection of spousal roles
- God intended marriage to be a kind of Worship through relationship
- Marriage was intended to make spouses Holy not Happy
- Marriage is God’s original design for procreation.
- Marriage represents God’s design for order and priority in life.
I do not claim to be a pastor, prophet, or expert on the Bible. I have read the Bible, studied it, and read many other books about marriage and God. I have attended church all my life. However, I do not claim that what I will say in this article or this series is absolute or perfect. My hope and desire is to encourage and motivate thinking, especially about God’s love and purposes in our life. I have asked many clients this question: “What is your life purpose?” Many of them tell me they have “never thought about that question.” That surprises me! I want us to get back to thinking and understanding why we do what we do. Too many people marry for feeling and hope that marriage provides something that maybe it was never intended to provide. So, I hope this encourages you and others to think and make better decisions so that the sanctity of marriage and the institution of God’s creation of marriage can return to its original design.