Due to some of my couples counseling clients asking me what are some of my favorite resources that I can recommend, the following provides a snapshot of what I believe are some of the most helpful resources available.
John Gottman is famous for his “love lab.” The research is interesting and informative.
- Gary Chapman helps couples figure our their “love languages” so they can serve each other better.
- Dr. Eggerichs wrote a book about the Biblical view of marriage through the eyes of the verse, Ephesians 5:33.
- Lately I have really enjoyed podcasts on marriage. They are free and you can listen to them anywhere.
- A few years ago a movie called The Love Dare came out. I really like the idea of serving your wife, not just when the marriage is on the rocks, but always. It provides fodder for the failing or flourishing marriage.
Communication is key in any relationship. This list of communication books for married couples is a great starter kit, which includes another great book by Gary Chapman. Also, this marriage communication podcast by Dr. Gary Smalley is very helpful for couples to learn productive and practical ways to communicate.
- Biology in humans is important. It helps to understand how a person works. John Gray wrote a book a long time ago that explained, as best he could at the time, how men and women are different. Recently, he came out with a new book that provides data from research that backs up his previous statements. Check it out here.
- Dr. William Harley, Jr. wrote a book called His Needs, Her Needs in 1989 which is still relevant today. He teaches that a couple needs to “deposit love units into each other’s love bank” by learning each other’s needs and meeting those needs. He also provides a ton of marriage resources on his website.
- I believe it is important for a person to understand themselves. Knowing your personality is very important to understanding some of the reasons why a person behaves in the way they do. There are many personality inventories out there, including the Myers-Briggs. However, through my studies, I came upon Ian Cron’s book called The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery. The Enneagram is an ancient personality typing system that is useful in understanding a person’s behavior and motives. I find it very interesting and intuitive. Through exploring your personality type, you will find the advantages of becoming more self-aware which will improve your ability to make good choices.
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