Marriage and Intimacy Insights Blog

After much thought, research, and work with couples over the years, I believe an apology is important, but must be done in the right way. When you apologize to your husband or wife, it is important to be genuine and direct, to validate their feelings of hurt and fear, to understand their needs, and to state a plan of how you will work not to hurt your partner in the future. These 5 different aspects to apologizing will help your husband or wife to know that you are sorry for your actions, you care about their feelings, and you desire to make sure you change, not only, how you act, but how you are going to make it right.

Is it possible to rebuild trust? You may be asking that question. You feel terrible about the mistake of lying to your spouse, but you are not sure how to reverse it. Your stuck between defending yourself and protecting yourself from their anger. Healing takes time and hopelessness wanes in situations like these. The question you are asking is,  "Is it possible to make things better?" As a marriage and family therapist, my answer is, "Yes!"

Do you ever wonder why people lie in relationships? It seems a mystery at times. You would think that love, kindness and a fear of hurting your spouse or partner would deter dishonesty. Culturally, lying seems to be accepted, but when it happens in a relationship, it can be devastating. Broken trust, decreased affection and other possible effects on your marriage or relationship are results of deceptive behavior. Why would anyone do this?