Brandon Coussens LMFT Blog – Marriage, Counseling & Relationships

Trust vs. Control: How to Rebuild Trust Without Falling Into the Trap of Control

Attitude, Dishonesty, Marriage, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Trust

Picture of a stick figure trusting another to catch them while another stick figure controls another like a puppet.

Have you ever had your trust broken or has there been a breach of trust between you and a loved one?

What a silly question, right? We all have had our trust broken. When this foundation on which we build all relationships is rocked, it can feel almost impossible to rebuild. You and I don’t realize sometimes how important trust is in our everyday lives until we are smacked in the face with deception, hurt, or uncertainty. Sitting in a chair is a choice of trust. Driving in your car is a risky decision, yet we do it every day at 50 to 70 miles per hour or more. When it comes to relationships, many times we ignore or aren’t aware of how much trust plays a role in how we relate to others and how they relate to us.

How To Get Over Lying in a Relationship

Apology, Dishonesty, Forgivneness, Marriage, Relationships

It's one thing to understand how to forgive when someone lies to you or apologize for being dishonest. You are entering a whole new ball game when you are trying to "get over" the lying all together. You may want it to just go away, but that's not necessarily going to happen. Stopping the act of lying and/or putting away the hurt and symptoms of being lied to may take time.

What is PTSD?

Marriage, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Relationships, Stress Management

Have you ever wondered what Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD is? Of course, you have! That's why you are here. I realize as a therapist that this disorder is becoming more common due to COVID-19 and many other traumatizing events that are making our world more unpredictable. What are we supposed to do with all these negative things?

How Does PTSD Affect Relationships?

Marriage, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Relationships

As a marriage and family therapist, I hear about trauma all the time. I have studied mental health all of my career. A common occurrence in therapy is when a couple comes in struggling with communication and conflict. They tell their stories about how they interact. It is at that point that they reveal their trauma. Many of these couples wonder why they can't resolve their issues.

10 Bible Verses to Memorize to Help with Lying

Bible, Dishonesty, Forgivneness, Grace, Marriage, Relationships, Trust

Life is difficult right now. Our world has been turned upside down. In turbulent times we need help. A little direction is desired when you don't know what to do. Guidance can comes in many forms: a friend, a mentor, a book, a podcast or some other informational resource, especially the best source, the Bible. As many of my latest post have focused on the topic of dishonesty, when you are wanting to stop this type of behavior, a little guidance from the Word is important when you don't know what else to do to stop this hurtful behavior.

Is it okay to lie in a relationship?

Dishonesty, Marriage, Relationships, Trust

Doing a little research and thought exercise on whether lying is okay or not. I thought I might write a post to help married couples navigate the nuances of dishonesty in marriage and relationships. Undoubtedly, I believe most people do not like to be lied to, but many people believe that there are times when lying is okay. I am not sure if you are one of those people, but let's take a look at some information to get some finality to this question.

Should I Stay With A Lying Husband or Wife?

Dishonesty, Marriage, Relationships

Asking the question, "Should I stay with a lying spouse?" poses different answers for different people. As I think through this question and read what other's have wrote about this question, the answer I find is that if we factor in "only lying," then your marriage is likely salvageable and you should stay with your spouse. However, if we factor in other behaviors, you may have a reason to leave.

How do I apologize for lying to my spouse?

Apology, Dishonesty, Marriage

After much thought, research, and work with couples over the years, I believe an apology is important, but must be done in the right way. When you apologize to your husband or wife, it is important to be genuine and direct, to validate their feelings of hurt and fear, to understand their needs, and to state a plan of how you will work not to hurt your partner in the future. These 5 different aspects to apologizing will help your husband or wife to know that you are sorry for your actions, you care about their feelings, and you desire to make sure you change, not only, how you act, but how you are going to make it right.

Setting boundaries in marriage with a dishonest spouse

How to Set Boundaries with a Dishonest Spouse

Dishonesty, Marriage, Relationships

Has your spouse lied to you, left information out, or been dishonest in some other way? Dishonesty hurts relationships. Trust is broken. Feelings are hurt. The damage is done. As a wife or husband who has faced dishonesty in their relationship, you are probably wondering what you can do. In situations like these, especially if your spouse has lies chronically, boundaries are needed.

Marriage and Intimacy Insights Blog

Trust vs. Control: How to Rebuild Trust Without Falling Into the Trap of Control

How To Get Over Lying in a Relationship

What is PTSD?

How Does PTSD Affect Relationships?

10 Bible Verses to Memorize to Help with Lying

Is it okay to lie in a relationship?

Should I Stay With A Lying Husband or Wife?

How do I apologize for lying to my spouse?

How to Set Boundaries with a Dishonest Spouse

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