What expectations do you have for your marriage? Have you ever thought about it? What you think a marriage should look like, and how you believe your spouse should behave will affect your relationship. Many couples go into marriage with a set view of how their marriage will be and what “should” take place.
Let’s set the scene. You have been doing everything you can to seduce your husband and make him want you. However, he just never takes the bate. He seems uninterested. Sex has dwindled. He is disengaged and focused on other things. What is going on? Am I not good enough, pretty enough, or sexy enough? Why does he not want to ravage me?
When a couple starts dating and enters a more serious relationship with each other, they automatically seem to trust each other. They don’t question each other’s motives. The couple gives each other the benefit of the doubt. Then one day something happens to disturb their tranquility. A negative event can strike anytime after a couple has started dating, when they are engaged, or even after they are married. Trust can quickly be lost. Whether small or large, the earthquake shakes their view of each other and leaves cracks in the foundation of the relationship.
In my practice, I see couples struggle to understand how to meet each other’s needs. I am speaking about the needs of men here, but I also want to think about how this applies to wives also. Husbands and wives both have needs. It is true that both struggle to express their needs and understand their partner’s needs.
Is it possible to rebuild trust? You may be asking that question. You feel terrible about the mistake of lying to your spouse, but you are not sure how to reverse it. Your stuck between defending yourself and protecting yourself from their anger. Healing takes time and hopelessness wanes in situations like these. The question you are asking is, “Is it possible to make things better?” As a marriage and family therapist, my answer is, “Yes!”
What is it like to be lied to? And how to you deal with a spouse that lies? To confront a spouse who lies, you first need to have a plan of how to talk to your partner about their dishonesty. You may be struggling with the pain of the most recent lie or the first one ever. Yet, you can’t just stand by and wait for the next time, or let this go by without trying to understand, right?
Procreation is when a man and a woman create child together. Duh! Why is that important? Because it can’t be anything other than a man or a woman! Sounds simple, but our culture and society wants to make marriage more than just one man and one woman.
Do you watch the news all the time? Are you on your phone all day? Do you ignore your kids or spouse because something else is more important?
If you were a fly on the wall in many couples’ houses today you would probably see all 3 of these things going on. Would you want to be married if you saw just these things? NOT ME!!
Did you enjoy the first part of my exploration of a wife’s role in marriage? If you did not get to read it: Go Here (Part 1).
Let’s continue with Part 2 of this discussion by building more understanding about the deeper meaning of the Biblical truth’s of this subject.
I believe I have created a tall task for myself. These next few posts may be short to start with and added to later. I find the topic complicated. It concerns me that I may no do it justice. Yet, I am going to try. So, here we go!
Brandon Coussens, LMFT
- Phone(706) 955-0230
- Address3540 Wheeler Rd Ste 110,
Augusta, GA 30909