Reasons for God's Design in Marriage

9 Reasons for God’s Design of Marriage: Example of Unity and Harmony

I believe I have created a tall task for myself. These next few posts may be short to start with and added to later. I find the topic complicated. It concerns me that I may no do it justice. Yet, I am going to try. So, here we go!

I work with a lot of couples. You could say I have worked with enough couples to know some things about marriage and relationships at this point. After all, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. But what do I know about God’s unity and harmony and how it relates to marriage? I get the since that building unity and harmony in marriage seems impossible sometimes. Yet, I believe they are part of God’s intent for marriages and this is my challenge today: to demonstrate to the best of my ability why this is true.


I would first like to look at the definitions of Unity and Harmony to help improve our discussion and understand what we are really talking about.


  • the state of being united or joined as a whole. (Google)
  • the quality or state of not being multiple: Oneness (Merrium-Webster)
  • a condition of harmony: Accord (Merrium-Webster)
  • a totality of related parts an entity that is a complex or systematic whole (Merrium-Webster)


  • the combination of simultaneous musical notes in a chord (Merrium-Webster)
  • the structure of music with respect to the composition and progression of chords (Merrium-Webster)
  • the science of the structure, relation, and progression of chords (Merrium-Webster)
  • pleasing arrangement of parts (Merrium-Webster)
  • agreement: accord (Merrium-Webster)
  • internal calm: tranquility (Merrium-Webster)
  • an interweaving of different accounts into a single narrative (Merrium-Webster)
  • the combination of simultaneously sounded musical notes to produce chords and chord progressions having a pleasing effect (Google)
  • the quality of forming a pleasing and consistent whole (Google)
  • agreement or concord (Google)
  • an arrangement of the four Gospels, or of any parallel narratives, which presents a single continuous narrative text (Google)

Fitting them Together

It is important to recognize that unity and harmony are very similar. By the definitions we see I want to summarize what these two words mean.

Unity at it’s core seems to mean being one and inseparable. It seems to include Harmony. Harmony appears to emphasize a perfection when something comes together and gives off a sense of greatness.

Now those are my words, but anyone could summarize these definitions in a similar way with different words. I only use the words I use to help with what I am trying to show about marriage in this post.

So, when God create Adam and Eve, if his intent was for them to be a perfect union that exudes harmony, what was the reason? In previous post I showed how they can be perfectly unified and harmonious: the husband loves, protects, and serves his wife to demonstrate her amazingness and the wife accordingly supports, encourages and helps him as a companion to empower him to be more than he already is.

They perfectly compliment each other. Yet, why is this important?

Greatness from Unity and Harmony

I believe this is important because unity and harmony together bring about greatness! The Trinity demonstrates this unity and harmony. Out of the Trinity came the beauty, vastness and awesome creation of the universe and world. The relationship between the members of the Trinity is so complimentary that they can’t help but explode and overflow with joy, creativity and never ending glory. Their glory just keeps growing together.

They feed off of each other, and more greatness comes from them every second of every day. I am at a loss for words of how to describe what I am trying to explain. (I told you this would be a tall task for me!)

Wouldn’t it be something if couples were created in a way to share that same feature? What if we were meant to come together in unity and harmony in such a way where we continually create more and more greatness?

Did God create us to be examples of this part of his essence? I believe so.

The Fall’s Effect

However, with the fall of Adam, all of this became distorted. It is hard to believe in our world today that a couple could be this unified and harmonized. Yet, this does not mean that marriages weren’t meant to do this.

When Adam and Eve were created, though, they walked with God in the garden of Eden. They had full connection and contact with God, which is the key. When we are reconnected with God and are walking in His glory and power everyday, we regain this ability, together. Thus, the Trinity is reborn in us with the Holy Spirit.

How do I back this up with Scripture? Let’s try!

Scripture Exploration

Proverbs 31
10  A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11  Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12  She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
23  Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
28  Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29  “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Ephesians 5:25-27
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

These two sets of verses demonstrate how husbands’ and wives’ interactions empower and give life, beauty and confidence to each other. Together, if both attain this level of functioning in themselves, their creative power to bring about greatness will increase.

How Does This All Tie Together?

God’s creative power appears to come from His unity and harmony. Better said: the way the Trinity works together. We see it in the creation story in Genesis where God the Spirit hovers over the earth. First, God the Father has a plan and speaks it. Then, God the Son, who is the Word, brings it to life in obedience and love towards God the Father. Finally, God the Spirit is breathed out into Adam and all creation with every creative act. The Spirit is what gives life to creation.

When husbands and wives interact with God and each other in harmony and unity we something similar happens.

The Holy Spirit is like God the Father in this situation. The Holy Spirit fills the hearts of the couple and speaks His will to them. The husband operates like God the Son, who’s word is powerful and sharper than a double edged sword and has the power of life or death. His words build up or tear down his wife. When they are meant to build up and empower, she delights in him and supports him in the creation of children, a home, and a life well lived for both of them.

Can you see harmony and unity bringing out creative power to usher in greater things through them?


I am just touching the tip of the iceberg. I honestly am struggling with how profound the unity and harmony of the Trinity is. The complexity of how this same unity and harmony is manifested in our relationships is mind boggling. However, I feel that to grasp this concept helps us to see our roles a little deeper. I also believe that understanding this concept helps us to mold our marriages into what God intended when he created Adam and Eve.

I hope that this has been helpful.  I hope I have given you information that you can go back to when you need it. If you have any further questions or need help, please call me and set up an appointment or check out some of my other BLOG POSTS.

Want to read the rest of the blog series? START HERE 

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