I used to work in a prison. I believe most people would say that working in a prison would be uncomfortable. I don’t think anyone would say that having anxiety while working in a prison would be abnormal. In fact, working 8 to 10 hours a day around people who have committed murders or aggressive acts and who continue to be aggressive due to their environment can cause an individual to be extremely anxious. However, what about someone who just has anxiety every day for reasons maybe they don’t understand? Is that normal? Is it normal to feel panic, which is a form of intense anxiety? What about just walking into a grocery store or attending school or work which is a daily or weekly occurrence? That doesn’t sound normal at all. So, why am I writing an article about anxiety being normal? Because, it is! Keep reading and I will explain to you why.
What is anxiety?
A scary term to some, but actually is only a feeling out of many other feelings that an individual feels everyday. A feeling is a sensation we get created by reactions in our brain. So anxiety is a sensation created by reactions in our brain that is determined by something that happened previously. Sound vague? Well, I like to say that anxiety is just a feeling that comes when something happens you don’t like or that reminds you of something you don’t like, such as a bad memory. So, anxiety, at it’s base, is really nothing more than a feeling. How scary is that? For some it is very scary, but lets examine anxiety more closely.
Everybody experiences anxiety.
At times an individual can feel alone in what they are experiencing. Almost like no one else can even imagine what I am going through. However, the truth is that everyone experiences anxiety at some point. Some people experience it more than others, but if you asked your best friend or parents or a stranger, they could all tell you a time when they feel anxious.
A message that can be helpful.
I tell my clients that anxiety is simply a message, just as feelings are simply messages. When I have a feeling, that is my brains way of telling me something or sending me a message. Messages are information, just like an email, letter or note. Messages tell us something about what’s going on. Anxiety is a message that tells you that whatever is going on around you or the environment or future doesn’t seem right or seems scary. So, anxiety is a message that tells us something isn’t right. Now, how scary is a message? Not very. Actually, a message can be very helpful. Think about it. What if you were never anxious about something and you just went with the flow? It sounds nice, but how many times would you do something that was not good? Anxiety serves as a warning. It tends to keep us safe, but can sometimes be wrong.
Unfortunately, anxiety can lie or be unhelpful.
Anxiety can be very good in small doses, but in large doses can keep an individual from doing important things. Remember, it is only a message, but when that message is so strong that it creates panic, fear and immobility, then anxiety becomes a problem. Although it is a message or warning, some messages can have large impacts on us. When you hear that a close family member passed away, hysterical crying and depression may be the reaction because of the massive impact. Anxiety can have a massive impact depending on the message being sent. The impact usually is intense fear, panic or even thoughts that you are dying. Some people who have strong anxiety messages tend to be unable to move or act in the moment. Sometimes these messages create irrational fears that drive our thoughts further into darkness.
Anxiety can also lie to you. Anxiety can tell you that everything is not alright when it really is. Have you ever had a moment where you thought “This is going to kill me,” but knew rationally that there is no feasible way it could? Anxiety tends to bring up strong messages that make us lie to ourselves instead of seeing the truth about the situation. This is because anxiety is normally the product of our past and/or the unknown, especially when the unknown has in the past caused bad outcomes. We decide what is not good based on our past experiences, which may or may not be relevant anymore, hence, irrational thinking.
Anxiety is normal.
So, anxiety is normal, because everyone has it, you were created with it, and it is based on what you have experienced. It can be helpful or unhelpful, but it does not have to control you. Anxiety is only a message. It does not control your choices. You can control your choices, based off the message received. We are reactors, but God has made us thinkers too. Next time you find yourself in a situation where anxiety is sending you a strong message, tell it to hold on and let you decide what the best choice in this situation is.
What to do now?
You may be getting the impression by now that I am saying anxiety is not that big of a deal. That is not my message at all. My point is that anxiety does not have to control you. In fact, it does not control you unless you allow it. However, I also understand that some people don’t have the resources or the capability to manage anxiety on their own. An individual who has anxiety that creates extremely problematic conditions in their life may need to see help, support and training to build the skills that are needed to manage strong anxiety. If your anxiety is bothering you, call me so that I can help you determine if you would benefit from therapy.
If you want something simple to help you, check out this neat little Anxiety Do’s and Don’t’s guide.