When I was a child, I never thought of what it meant to be married. I just knew I wanted to be married. I didn’t really know why. It just seemed like the thing to do. I remember pretending to play house and having a wife on the playground at recess when I wasn’t trying to win races or jump out of swings. I remember the “roles” that each person pretended to play, the boys usually went off to work and the girls stayed home and “cleaned, cooked and took care of the baby.” Do you remember?
What do you make of this? It seems as thought even as a young child, we tend to understand that we were created for a certain role in life, and somehow we are supposed to be in relationship with others. Ultimately, we begin to become attracted to the opposite gender. We tend to long to be together and the relationship between a man and a woman forms an awesome mystery that only God understands as Proverbs 30:18-19 reveals. Why did God create this idea of marriage? What’s the purpose?
On this journey, I am wanting to build a deeper understanding of God’s design for marriage in hopes of helping you build a better and more intimate relationship. Let’s start with how marriage represents the Trinity.
God’s image is represented through the marriage model. I believe God intended marriage to show us himself as a relational being. Some disagree with the concept of the Trinity, but much of Christian history has been based on the idea of God being 3 persons in 1 entity (God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit). The Trinity relates in perfect harmony as 3 parts in 1 whole.
Jesus referenced several times how he interacts with God the Father where he emphasizes that he only speaks what the Father commands him to (John 12:49) and he does not act on his own, but acts by what he learns from the Father and sees the Father doing (John 5:19). He is essentially saying he and God the Father move together. He actually states at one point that “I and the Father are one” (John 10:30). They dance and move flawlessly together. This is how we as individuals should move with God (God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit), by learning about him through his Word and building a relationship through prayer and meditation. A husband and wife would complete this part of the marriage relationship by how they relate to God. We relate more to God through his Word and through the Holy Spirit. God the Father is the creator, God the Son lives and expresses God’s creation, and God the Holy Spirit has traditionally been deemed the Helper. He seems to be the influencer, the gentle voice, the part that ties everything together.
We find in Genesis, that God created man “in his own image, in the image of God He created them.” If God imprinted his image on each one of us, then we certainly represent God in some way. We fulfill that image best within the confines of marriage. God’s image on us is fulfilled in our ability to create, think, feel, and relate. We are communal. We need others. Based on our need for others, we reflect the Trinity relationship. Ephesians 5 informs husbands to love their wives as Christ does the church. It also informs women to submit to your husbands as the church does to Christ. This may be better translated encourage and support your husbands as the church does to Christ. These versus are directly relating our relationship to how different members of the trinity work together. The Church (us as believers) has the Holy Spirit inside of them to guide them.
If husbands are supposed to be like Christ and wives are supposed to be like the Holy Spirit, then how does God the Father fit into our marriage? I think we somewhat covered this above. However, the original marriage model was meant to have God (the Father) as the head of the marriage, husband as the one that is given the authority by God to fulfill his acts, and wife as the supporter and partner who encourages.
Now does it make more since?
As a couple, if we allow God to rule our relationships and be our main source of knowledge, wisdom and truth, then we fall in line with the perfect harmony seen in the Trinity. God originally was attempting to help us be fulfilled and satisfied by him, FIRST. He walked in the cool of the day with Adam in Genesis in the Garden of Eden.
Then, He said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” He created Eve to be that final piece to complete the perfect relational circle that would allow us humans come together as husband and wife, with God as the head, to complete the representation of God the Trinity through marriage. We need God as the stabilizer in our marriage. Without him, we will always struggle. We will always be unable to find peace and joy in relationships as it was meant to be. We certainly won’t be able to fully forgive or fully give grace as needed for growth in a relationship. We will blame and defend and criticize and hurt each other.
Do you want a better relationship? Do you want a loving and lasting marriage? Do you want deeper intimacy?
Invite God to be your foundation. This does not mean it will be perfect, but with God as the foundation, you will start to grow in your relationship toward deeper love, intimacy, and unity.
I hope that this has been helpful. I hope I have given you information that you can go back to when you need it. If you have any further questions or need help, please call me and set up an appointment or check out some of my other BLOG POSTS.
Want to read the rest of the blog series? START HERE
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