Faith, Gratitude, and Mental Health: A Thanksgiving Reflection for Couples

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I. Introduction: Why Thanksgiving Hits Differently for Couples

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite times of the year. I love the food, the festivities, the smell of something cooking in the oven, and the feeling of people coming together. I love the “idea” of slowing down and remembering what matters most.

But I also know this is not everyone’s experience.
Some of you dread the holidays.
Some of you feel the weight of grief, painful memories, unresolved family tension, or years where Thanksgiving didn’t go the way you hoped it would. Some of you see this season on the calendar and immediately feel your stomach drop. If that’s you, I’m truly sorry. I hurt with you.

My desire in writing this is simple:
to give you hope, to offer comfort, and to help you see this season through a new lens, one filled with faith, gratitude, and emotional grounding.

Even in my own life, Thanksgiving has shifted depending on the season. Some years feel joyful and easy. Other years feel heavy, stressful, or just…off. This year I’m fighting a seasonal cold and hoping I feel well enough to enjoy Thanksgiving Day at all! Every year comes with different highs and lows.

And that’s the point.
Thanksgiving isn’t about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about slowing down, reconnecting, and allowing gratitude to bring perspective into whatever season you’re in, whether joyful or hard.

Gratitude is powerful. It reframes how we see our marriage, our family, and our purpose. Gratefulness reconnects us emotionally and spiritually. It reminds us that God is still present, even in our pain.

Together, let’s explore how faith, gratitude, and mental health come together in this season, and how this combination can bring healing and connection to your marriage.

II. The Spiritual Roots of Gratitude in Christian Marriage

As I think back over this year, I can clearly see the highs and lows, not only in my own life, but in the lives of the many people I’ve sat with in counseling. I’ve listened to stories of betrayal, confusion, loss, and stress. I’ve also witnessed beautiful moments of reconciliation, breakthroughs, answered prayers, and marriages finding renewed connection.

And in both the painful stories and the joyful ones, gratitude has a place.

What Scripture Teaches About Thankfulness

Let’s pause and look at what God says about gratitude, especially during times like these.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
— 1 Thessalonians 5:18

“All circumstances” is a tall order. It almost feels impossible until you read those last words — in Christ Jesus.
We don’t give thanks because life feels easy. We give thanks because Christ is in it with us.

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts… and be thankful.”
— Colossians 3:15

Peace and gratitude live together.
God commands thankfulness not because He wants to burden us, but because gratitude opens the door to peace, connection, and emotional healing.

“Enter His gates with thanksgiving…”
— Psalm 100:4

Thanksgiving is how we enter into God’s presence. Gratitude isn’t just an emotion. It’s an act of worship.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.”
— Psalm 136:1

No matter our circumstances, God’s character remains steady:
He is good.
He is loving.
He is faithful.
And gratitude brings these truths back into focus when life makes them hard to see.

How Gratitude Honors God AND Strengthens Marriage

Now, let’s bring this into your marriage.

Your marriage may be great right now, or it may feel like it’s barely holding together. Either way, there is always something to be grateful for.

Maybe it’s:

  • that you’re not alone

  • that you have someone who’s trying

  • that you have someone who shares life with you

  • that you have someone willing to grow with you

  • that God hasn’t given up on your story

Gratitude doesn’t ignore your pain. It shines light on blessings you may have stopped noticing.

And in marriage, gratitude:

  • creates emotional safety

  • builds compassion

  • softens defensive walls

  • increases connection

  • reminds your spouse they are seen and appreciated

Gratitude is not small.
It’s a form of love.
It honors the other person.
It strengthens the bond between you.
It’s one of the simplest but most powerful tools for healing and building connection.

III. The Psychology of Gratitude: Why It’s Good for Mental Health

Gratitude isn’t only spiritual.  It’s deeply psychological.

Research shows that practicing gratitude consistently can:

  • reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression

  • improve mood

  • regulate emotions

  • increase resilience

  • strengthen relationships

  • even improve physical health

This is why gratitude is used in therapy, positive psychology, and wellness practices.
It has measurable, replicable results.

And you can try it yourself.

A Simple Experiment

  1. Write down how you feel emotionally right now.

  2. Then create gratitude lists in different areas of your life:

    • marriage

    • family

    • work

    • health

    • faith

    • finances

    • friendships

  3. Reread your list throughout the day.

  4. At night, write down how you feel again.

Most people notice a shift, sometimes subtle, sometimes significant.

Because gratitude grounds us.
It reframes the story our brain is telling.
It brings hope where hopelessness has been creeping in.
It moves us toward emotional stability.

Why Gratitude Matters Even More During the Holidays

Let’s be honest: holidays are complicated.

They carry:

  • memories of people we miss

  • reminders of old conflicts

  • stressful family dynamics

  • financial pressure

  • sickness or exhaustion

  • disappointment from unmet expectations

  • anxiety that things won’t go smoothly

The problem often isn’t the holiday itself. It’s our expectations.

We want the picture-perfect Thanksgiving we see in movies or on social media.
But when reality doesn’t match the expectation, it can hit hard emotionally.

This is why gratitude matters so much during this season.

Gratitude:

  • pulls our focus away from the “shoulds”

  • helps us settle into the “what is”

  • reminds us of what’s meaningful

  • stabilizes our emotions

  • softens our reactions

  • helps us notice God’s presence in the ordinary

Gratitude doesn’t solve everything, but it brings balance to the stress and helps reorient our hearts toward what matters.

IV. Gratitude as a Couple: Turning Faith Into Practice

Let’s get practical.
Gratitude becomes powerful when you act on it, especially together as a couple.

Here are some practices that can strengthen your marriage this Thanksgiving season.

A. Daily Gratitude Rituals for Couples

1. The “3 Blessings” Bedtime Prayer

Sit together at night and share three blessings from the day.
Then pray together and thank God for them and for each other.

Slow down. Don’t rush it.
Let the weight of those blessings sink in.

2. A Shared Weekly Gratitude Journal

Each day, write 2–3 things you’re grateful for.
At the end of the week, read them together.

Affirm what matters to your spouse.
Validate how those blessings impact your relationship.

This builds emotional intimacy.

3. Thanking God Out Loud for Your Spouse

When you pray together, say one specific thing you see in your spouse that you’re thankful for.

This may feel awkward, but it is deeply meaningful.
Hearing your partner thank God for something about you touches the heart in a powerful way.

4. A Thanksgiving Week Devotional

Read a short devotional or Scripture on gratitude each day leading up to Thanksgiving.
Reflect. Connect.
Discuss how God is shaping your hearts through it.

B. The Power of Spoken Gratitude

We all think grateful thoughts.
But unspoken gratitude doesn’t help the person we love.

Spoken gratitude:

  • reduces tension

  • softens anger

  • increases closeness

  • builds safety

  • reassures your spouse that you see the good in them

If you tend to forget to share these thoughts, write them down.
Set a reminder.
Make a note on your phone.

Your spouse needs your voice.

C. Gratitude in Difficult Seasons

Some seasons are heavy.
Gratitude may feel forced.
And that’s okay.

You can be honest about the pain and still choose gratitude.

Gratitude is not about pretending life is great. It’s about recognizing what is still meaningful in the midst of the hard season.

Just like:

  • exercising

  • eating healthy

  • sleeping well

  • going to work

  • connecting with others

Gratitude is a discipline that benefits you whether you “feel like it” or not.

It takes faith to practice gratitude in hard times.
But it strengthens you emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.

V. Navigating Thanksgiving Stress as a Team

As you prepare for the holiday, let me offer you some guidance to help you stay connected as a couple.

A. Set Shared Expectations

You both have expectations for the holiday, even if you haven’t voiced them.

Talk about:

  • what each of you hopes will happen

  • what you’re concerned about

  • past hurts or triggers

  • family dynamics

  • what boundaries you need

  • what you’re looking forward to

  • where you need support

Start these conversations with gratitude:

“I’m grateful we get to do this together.”

It sets the tone.

B. Practice “Thankful Boundaries”

These are boundaries built on love, not avoidance.

Examples:

  • “Let’s leave around 6:30 so we don’t get overwhelmed.”

  • “Can we protect our morning so we’re not rushed?”

  • “Let’s agree on a signal if one of us needs a break.”

  • “Let’s simplify this year so we can enjoy it.”

Boundaries honor what’s important to both of you.

C. Support Each Other Emotionally

One of you may struggle more than the other.
That’s normal.

Stay close to each other:

  • offer empathy

  • pray together

  • use touch

  • encourage one another

  • remind each other you’re a team

Gratitude deepens when couples support each other through stress, not just in calm seasons.

VI. A Thanksgiving Reflection Exercise for Couples

This is the part I recommend you actually do together, either the morning of Thanksgiving or at some point during the day.

Find a quiet spot.
Sit together.
Put your phones away.
Invite God into the moment.

Take 10–15 minutes.
Let this be a grounding, connecting experience.

Step 1: Pray Together

“God, thank You for the gift of this relationship. Help us see the blessings You’ve given us this year. Help us notice the ways You’ve carried us through. Give us open, honest, grateful, and connected hearts as we reflect together. Amen.”

Step 2: Reflect on God’s Faithfulness

Each partner answers:

  • Where did you see God at work in your personal life this year?

  • Where did you see God at work in our marriage?

Let honesty lead.
There’s no right or wrong answer.

Step 3: Share What You’re Grateful For in Each Other

Each partner shares three specific things you appreciate about the other.

This is where connection grows.

Step 4: Talk About a Challenge You Overcame Together

Reflect on:

  • what the challenge was

  • how you handled it

  • where you grew

  • where you saw God’s guidance

This helps normalize hard seasons and celebrates resilience.

Step 5: Identify a Blessing You Want to Steward Well

Ask:

  • What blessing has God given us that we want to steward better next year?

Consider:

  • time

  • finances

  • marriage

  • spiritual growth

  • emotional health

  • parenting

  • community

Choose one shared goal to pray over in the coming year.

Step 6: Close in Prayer

“Lord, thank You for the story You’re writing in our marriage. Strengthen us where we’re weak. Guide us where we need wisdom. Help us grow in gratitude, unity, and emotional closeness. Make this next year one of deeper connection with You and with each other. Amen.”

VII. Closing: A Season to Reset, Reconnect, and Remember God’s Faithfulness

You are not alone this season.
God is with you.
He sees you.
He loves you.
He is faithful even in the hardest moments.

My prayer is that gratitude will help settle your heart, strengthen your marriage, and remind you of God’s goodness in your life.

Whether this season feels joyful or heavy, take small steps.
Connect with your spouse.
Invite God into the process.
Practice gratitude — even in tiny ways.

And if you need support during the holidays or want help reconnecting in your marriage, we’re here for you.

Legacy Marriage Resources offers in-person counseling in Augusta, GA, and online telehealth counseling.
If you’d like to talk, schedule an appointment. We’d be honored to walk with you.

God bless you this Thanksgiving.

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