Over the past year, as I have continually worked with couples to improve their marriages, I have noticed that couples tend to have major differences in their view of what sex should be like in a marriage. Most of the time, couples tend to have a major difference in their desire for sex. As a sex therapist, I am supposed to know how to help couples compromise and figure out how to have a more enjoyable sex life. The problem is, that most of the time, one person is satisfied and the other is not, or both are unsatisfied and don’t know how to make it better, so they avoid the topic altogether.
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Through consulting with other therapist and gathering information from my own attempts to continue education and attend trainings, I am beginning to see the topic differently. Considering one of my previous post that discussed why God created sex, I connected sex within marriages as a way to improve the relationship and create a tight bond between husband and wife. However, relationships can be complicated. It seems as though sex alone cannot make a relationship strong…hmm (sarcasm!) I am sure that anyone reading this article, hopefully, already understood the previous point, but the point above stresses the question, “How then do we create a strong bond?” Or, since this article is not necessarily about how to make a relationship stronger, the question I want to ask is, “How does a couple improve their physical intimacy through emotional intimacy?”
The answer is simple: Emotional closeness = Physical Closeness = Deeper physical intimacy
So, to my couples out their that are struggling with the their sexual intimacy, try improving your emotional intimacy. This is simple to say, but can be more complicated to implement. In future posts, I will detail what that looks like, but for now, try it! I can’t guarantee guys you will have more sex. I can’t even guarantee anything will change. However, I can encourage you to try it and see what happens. It can’t hurt to just try. if you have any questions or comments please go to our About Us page and send an email. Also, I would love to hear how it worked for you. Thanks!